Well, let's be real. I've been anxious about returning to work for a long time. Since the babies were born, I have thought about it daily in some way shape. Often it was just a fleeting moment that came and went, while other times it kept me up at night. I just can't believe it's right around the corner now.
Who knew a year could fly by so quickly! Some days I have a deep longing to be back in the hospital, holding my brand new babies and just embarking on this journey. I want to live every moment over again...just as it happened. I wouldn't change a thing. The pain from surgery, learning to nurse two babies, figuring out how to make my 2-year-old still feel happy and special, late-night feedings, no sleep, ear infections, trips to the doctor's, potty training, temper tantrums, stress...ALL of it. I would do it all again. I really would.
I do realize I was very lucky to be able to take this time off. I have really missed being in the classroom with my students, and I have missed my friends at school very much, but I know that once I am a "working" mom again, I am going to miss my kids like crazy and long to be with them all the time again. It's that whole grass-is-always-greener thing going on. I wish I could find some sort of "happy medium" that would allow me to teach part-time and be home part-time. Then again, a part-time paycheck really doesn't fit into our family's plans. We want to move to a slightly bigger home in a year or two, and we want to be able to do fun "extras" and take our kids lots of different places in the future. So, I am preparing for a shock to my stay-at-home-mommy system...and soon. I have about a billion things to do at school before the year even starts. It's just going to feel strange being away from my 3 babies. I wonder if they'll notice a difference. I wonder if they'll miss me. I hope they miss me. Wait, no...I don't want them to be sad. I don't want them to miss me! Do I ?
The thing I'm worried about the most is being able to find some sort of balance between all the responsibilities in my life. I imagine this is a struggle for most mothers, but people who are not teachers have no idea the amount of time, planning, and organization the job requires. Most people get to clock out, come home, and focus on their families. Teachers work, work, work all day long, and then they continue to work at home every evening (not to mention the weekends), usually long after the kids have gone to bed and all housework is completed.
I know. It will be fine. I'll get used to the change. I'm already used to functioning while being tired, so no worries there. And maybe I'll love and adore and appreciate those three little ones even more (if that's possible) since my quality time with them will be so limited. :)
Who knew a year could fly by so quickly! Some days I have a deep longing to be back in the hospital, holding my brand new babies and just embarking on this journey. I want to live every moment over again...just as it happened. I wouldn't change a thing. The pain from surgery, learning to nurse two babies, figuring out how to make my 2-year-old still feel happy and special, late-night feedings, no sleep, ear infections, trips to the doctor's, potty training, temper tantrums, stress...ALL of it. I would do it all again. I really would.
I do realize I was very lucky to be able to take this time off. I have really missed being in the classroom with my students, and I have missed my friends at school very much, but I know that once I am a "working" mom again, I am going to miss my kids like crazy and long to be with them all the time again. It's that whole grass-is-always-greener thing going on. I wish I could find some sort of "happy medium" that would allow me to teach part-time and be home part-time. Then again, a part-time paycheck really doesn't fit into our family's plans. We want to move to a slightly bigger home in a year or two, and we want to be able to do fun "extras" and take our kids lots of different places in the future. So, I am preparing for a shock to my stay-at-home-mommy system...and soon. I have about a billion things to do at school before the year even starts. It's just going to feel strange being away from my 3 babies. I wonder if they'll notice a difference. I wonder if they'll miss me. I hope they miss me. Wait, no...I don't want them to be sad. I don't want them to miss me! Do I ?
The thing I'm worried about the most is being able to find some sort of balance between all the responsibilities in my life. I imagine this is a struggle for most mothers, but people who are not teachers have no idea the amount of time, planning, and organization the job requires. Most people get to clock out, come home, and focus on their families. Teachers work, work, work all day long, and then they continue to work at home every evening (not to mention the weekends), usually long after the kids have gone to bed and all housework is completed.
I know. It will be fine. I'll get used to the change. I'm already used to functioning while being tired, so no worries there. And maybe I'll love and adore and appreciate those three little ones even more (if that's possible) since my quality time with them will be so limited. :)
1 comment:
Oh my gosh I can't believe you even wonder if your kids will notice you are gone?!?!?! Of course they will and they will be sad for a little bit, but they will adjust. Just like you will. It is not fun to be back to work after being able to be home all day every day with them. On the up side, adult conversation (well at least at lunch time) is nice! I, for one, am so excited to have you back, but will totally be willing to listen if you want to vent/cry the first few days or weeks. You will figure it out just like you've figured out how to be such an awesome mommy to 3 amazing kids! I have no doubt about that.
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